Holiday Blues

I am the sort of person who will tell you that I don't want to do anything for my birthday and holidays. And I mean it when I say that. In the past, I really have never felt like celebrating anything. There hasn't really felt like a point. It's all just been ordinary days to me.
This Christmas, I actually wanted to participate. I'm sure that this has something to do with the depression medication that I'm on, which I wasn't on last year. It really has been helping. I actually had answers when I was asked what I want for Christmas. I put up a little fake tree on my coffee table and decorated it. I even did a little photoshoot with my parrotlet, Cassie, and she was cooperative (after I convinced her with food.) If you know parrots, or birds in general, you know they aren't really cooperative things!

Isn't she adorable?
It was also a pretty rough couple of days right before Christmas, but I pulled through and I think I'm going to be better for it in the long run. And, in the end, I really did enjoy my holiday.
I'm in the middle of work right now, my deadline being on the 30th.  That was interesting to deal with, working through the holiday when everything was so busy and chaotic, and I admire anyone who does it year in and year out. That being said, I think I did pretty well, considering that I'm still a little ahead of schedule.
I'm still waiting to hear back from the places that I sent my short stories to. I'm used to that by now, and I have a lot to keep me occupied in the meantime. One of those things is Stephen King's Cujo, which I'm currently rereading after several years. I'm enjoying it just as much as I remember. It's classic King, monsters, monsters, everywhere...and most of them are human.
That's all for now, I believe. I've just been mostly absorbed with balancing Christmas and work, which hasn't left time for much else.
Be sure to check out my author page at facebook.com/authoremilyblue. I've been posting a lot more updates there lately, different from what I write about here.
Until next time.

~Blue

Getting Better

I guess this week the blog is a Wednesday thing! Although this time, I do have a reason.
Saturday, I had a depressive episode. It was a pretty bad one. I doubted myself from start to finish. Seeing as I have just started a new work project, this was a pretty bad time for it.
Saturday turned to Sunday and...that was it. I woke up and wasn't quite myself, but by the time I got things rolling, I felt better. I'm still a little behind on work but the past couple days I've managed to do extra and I'm managing to gain ground.
And this is how I know I'm getting better. I might not have anything figured out. I'm still as clueless as ever. I'll probably always be clueless and unsure and doubtful, and I'll struggle forever.
But I'm getting better.
And I know because my episode only lasted one day, instead of several.
I know because I can sing in the car and the sound of my own voice doesn't make me hate myself.
Because sometimes I think I look nice.
Because I laugh a little more.
I'm getting better, because I'm trying.
So, I've got both of my revised-and-ready short stories out there, floating around, awaiting judgment. I'm compiling notes, consolidating them all in one spot. I'm working. I'm going for walks on occasion. I am trying.
I finished reading The Troop by Nick Cutter, which I mentioned in my last post. I enjoyed it. The writing style was very crisp, very detailed, very visceral. I feel like it had a bit too many similes and metaphors, relied a little too heavily on comparisons in some places, instead of telling me how things were. It was also more of a body horror type of novel, what Stephen King would call a "gross-out." However, it wasn't what I would call gratuitous. There was a purpose to it.
I also enjoyed the format of the book itself. Chapters punctuated with news articles, dairy entries, and the like. The author said he took inspiration from King for that, and it was very well done.
The story itself revolves around a troop of boy scouts who head to a secluded island for a scheduled trip, but not everything goes as planned. Someone arrives. Or rather, something. 
I'd check it out if any of that interests you. It was worth the read. And no, I'm not sponsored. I just enjoyed it.
That's all for now. Be sure to check up on me over at facebook.com/authoremilyblue.
Until next time.

~Blue

Playing With Words

I keep meaning to write these for Monday but I guess fate just wants them to be a Tuesday thing. As long as they get written at all. I think I'm getting better at remembering to update all these social media things (except for Twitter. My Twitter is a disgrace.) It's not so much a matter of finding the time to do these things, since they don't take long at all. It's more about finding the will. I want to think that I'm getting better at that, too.
I'll be sending out that story I wrote about last week, that I was so proud of. I usually struggle with short stories more than I do with novels. It's hard to resist the temptation to stretch out and play with the words, like you can do with longer works. Short stories require a different sort of skill entirely, the ability to say exactly what needs to be said and nothing more. Sometimes, it's even less about that and more about knowing what doesn't need said.
I finished up with a work deadline recently so I've got a couple free days. I intend to do a lot of reading and writing. I haven't quite decided whether I'll be starting an entirely new story, focusing on my novel in progress, or if I'll work on reviving something from the past. I want to do all of them at once but if I try to take on all of that, I'll end up psyching myself out with the workload. It's quality over quantity, any day. Sometimes the two ideals meet up and shake hands, but that's a rare thing.
The book I'll be reading is called The Troop by Nick Cutter. I stumbled across it while looking through lists of good horror novels and I'm hoping I'll be pleasantly surprised. I also just finished up Lostboy by Christina Henry, which was an exquisite dark, heart-wrenching take on the classic tale of Peter Pan. Never before has growing up been so bitter. I highly recommend it, and her writing in general.
That's all for now. Be sure to check up on me over at facebook.com/authoremilyblue.
Until next time.

~Blue

A Good Day

Yesterday was one of the best, most productive days I have had in a long time. I didn't expect anything special from it but everything just pulled together for once to make an ordinary day very wonderful. I managed to do everything that I wanted. It's been so long since I've managed to read while having breakfast, since I'm always so paranoid about getting my work done for the day. Today, I was able to do that.
I received a rejection from a magazine when I sent them a short story a few days ago, but I've sent the same story out again to another magazine. I don't expect much to come as a result from that but it feels good to have it out there.
I'm also in the middle of editing another story, the one I mentioned in my last post. I'm pretty much in love with it, but it's pretty passive and I'm having to work all that out. It's a habit of mine but I'm working on it.
Another thing I'm currently working on is a Christmas present for my girlfriend, Sunny. It's a painting. I only recently got back into that particular hobby and this is by far the most difficult painting I've attempted. Maybe when it's finished I'll post a picture of it.
I think that's all for now. Be sure to look for me at facebook.com/authoremilyblue. I post there most often.
Until next time.

~Blue

Fall Solitude

Now that Thanksgiving is nothing but a memory of its former self, it's time to get back on track. I say that, but I still have no idea where my track is. Maybe I'll find it one of these days.
I did manage to get outside yesterday and today, which was nice. I do enjoy my walkies and the weather is perfect for it. Bordering on cold, crisp, quiet. I love the fall solitude, listening to the world around me. The world seems to be mostly composed of squirrels these days but I'm not exactly complaining. I can watch them on the autumn-bare tree outside my window, going about their busy little lives.
There's something about this time of year, when everything is so clear and there's hardly anyone else outside. It just feels magical to me. Maybe that's why I recently wrote a story about it. It's been sitting on the back shelf of my mind, idling, waiting for distance to form between it and myself so I can edit it with clarity. I'm pretty sure that time is almost here.
Casanova the Editor Bird sleeps more often these days, responding to the change in season. None of my other animals seem to care. Edgar the betta fish, Toko and Nadia the hermit crabs, and new addition Mocha the Syrian hamster just keep going on without a care. I care. I love my little zoo.
Be sure to check out my author page on Facebook if you get a chance, at facebook.com/authoremilyblue. I post updates and such there that I don't post here.
Until next time.

~Blue

Long time, no see!

I can't believe it's been almost 7 months since I last posted. Things keep falling by the wayside, as I work at my job, my mental health, and my hobbies. Everything is work and nothing comes easy, but some days make it worth everything.
I finally completed work on the last draft of a short story that has been in progress for a very long time now, probably longer than it should have been. But, I'm happy. All progress is good progress! No one should ever forget that.
My plan now is to start sending it around to magazines and such in the hopes of publication. I've recieved rejections before and I'll recieve many more when all is said and done, but I'm not afraid of that. It's just part of the game, and I'm in this for the long haul.
No matter how many times you're rejected, don't give up. There are better things ahead.

Kindled Roses Excerpt

I'm back at it again with a novel in progress that's currently titled Kindled Roses. This is an excerpt from the very first chapter. Please let me know what you think in a comment!

My shoulders shook, and something on the desk moved. I looked up, rubbing my eyes with my hands. Blurring tears pushed aside, I saw one of the envelopes twitch, wrinkling up in on itself. White faded to the color of the shadows beneath my bed, comforting and gray. Then, gray darkened all the way to black and a tiny whiff of smoke struggled up from the paper. A flickering glow no bigger than an ant formed on the very edge of the corner, even as the paper crumpled into ash.
Fire. Warmth. Out of my control again, or exactly inside it. Sometimes it was so hard to tell.
©2017 Emily Blue